The decision is made

Dear Baby,

The decision has been made, you're going to be born here at home. A few years ago, a friend had a Cesaraen Section, then another, then another. Then my friends had C-Sections, and kept having them, and kept having them. I only have one friend who had natural birth, and that was by accident.

The reasons for the C-Sections were myriad. My friends were too fat, too thin, too old, the baby too big, and it was convenient for the doctor. I don't actually know anyone who went into labor. Rather, the doctor scheduled the due date, the women went in, had major surgery, and brought home a baby. I asked again, and again, but no one had a good reason why this was preferable. Rather, everyone focused on the outcome, healthy baby.

Then I saw the Business of Being Born, and it changed my life. I'm a conspiracy theorist by nature, but I didn't put that together with what I was seeing in all of this assisted labor. I've decided to bow out of that system. I'm a control freak by nature, and between inducement, and drug administration, and the ultimate C-Section, it was clear I would not be able to control your birth process in the hospital.

So we'll welcome you home - at home.

Love,

Dear Mama

BFP

Dear Baby,

It's unbelievable, but you are coming, finally.  After missing my period, and all the awful cramps, I started to get suspicious.  Also the too big for their bra boobs were a jumping around during exercise, like they had a life of their own.  That was the second clue.  The two positive pregnancy tests were the icing on the cake.

DH has the (last) pregnancy test and wants me to start a shoe box with belongings for you.  He thinks you're a girl, and have started talking to you already.  

I'm off to the GP tomorrow to have your existence confirmed, medically.  Now, the wait begins.  We've told a couple of people who've been ecstatic.  DH wants to shout it from the rooftops, but I've convinced him to keep his council for another couple of months.

Look forward to meeting you.

Love, 

Dear Mama

Clomid and IUI

Dear Baby,

On Friday,  our RE called.  He outlined our options, do nothing (meaning trying at home) or come in for vaginal ultrasound, start Clomid and schedule an IUI when I ovulate.

Last year, when I thought this would happen right away, I was in such a hurry.  Right now (as I age every second), not so much.  This month, I want to gear up to run a race, and increase my Pilates to three days a week to really work no my core.  None of those priorities matches up with spending four or five days in a doctor's office with my legs in stirrups.

So, I'm putting it off.  I hope that in June or July when I'm feeling better about myself, I'll be more ready for medical intervention.

Love,

Dear Mama

Millions of Sperm

The results are in for all the testing.  We're young, healthy, and normal.  DH apparently has millions (to the tune of 158 million) sperm.  Even counting out the one with two heads or three tails or who swim in the wrong direction - we're looking at a pretty high number.  He was quite relieved to hear that after the clinical experience of ejaculating into a cup.

Now, I know that our issues are advanced maternal age or 'just one of those things.'  We're one week into another two week wait.  We'll see how it goes, then either back to the RE for more advice (what could that be - 'be patient'), or maybe we'll be lucky this month.

A Quiet Room

Today DH goes to the RE for his sperm analysis.  C'mon, you've all wondered what actually happens when a man has to go in and perform on the spot.  Well if you haven't I have.  The nurse told us last week that they will provide a private room, magazines and videos.  And yes, you could bring your own.

DH wonders will the content be to his taste.  Diverse.  Soft core like Playboy or something far more provocative like Hustler or Penthouse.  Is it clinical or cozy?

We've spent the weekend speculating, and I'm absolutely dying to know.

Plus I was told one too many times this weekend to cover up (in 100 degree weather, no less), because he had to hold out and could not be tempted.  In just 15 minutes he'll be very tempted.

More acronyms and fertility testing

Tests, tests, and more tests.  Started down the road of 'fertility' medicine, and it's like hurtling down a highway.  On Tuesday, had an impromptu FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) test and today the much talked about HSG (hysterosalpingogram).  Not the most comfortable test mind you, but with a Valium and a bunch of ibuprophen, I sailed through the first test.  That's right the FIRST test.  Computer imaging malfunction required that I do the test again.

After sedation wears off, the second is not nearly as pleasant.  The good news is that my hormones are well within range and my reproductive organs appear very healthy.  It's now time for DH to get to that semen analysis.

The Fertility Doctor

Back in September, while enjoying a tasty slice of cake at Susina Bakery, a friend gave me the name of a fertility expert (reproductive endocrinologist - RE).  Back then I was quite sure that as soon as we started on the TTC road, it would be smooth sailing.  (Excuse the mixed metaphor).  I never envisioned I'd be one of THOSE women who tries uses medical intervention on the road to conception.  I've always thought those women were completely crazy.  I assume they were either impatient or far too ready to use drugs and various insemination tools to get pregnant - so ready to populate the world with their own DNA.  So I was very conflicted as I sat today having a consultation and taking various tests to assess my fertility.  I can't see myself on the zillionth cycle of IVF, but for once, I can see how it happens.